je suis la jeune fille
words and pictures and pictures and words.
I think I have mild Tourette's and Asperger's sometimes.
ughhggurgleblergh
Is how I feel about myself today. FUCKING FALL, man. You know, back in my college days, when I was experiencing the season of autumn for the first time in my 18 years, I never understood when my friends would say, “mmm, fall is here! So cozy!” because I would be thinking, WTF, it’s getting colder, this sucks. Well somewhere along the line I started appreciating the changing of the leaves, the sweaters, the frosty mornings, the boots, the holidays (always been a Halloween fan, don’t get me wrong), the general coziness that fall entails. NOT THIS YEAR, NOT THIS YEAR AT ALL. For the following reasons:
1- I HAVE BEEN SICK FOR A MONTH! I swear to god I have fucking tuberculosis. I’m straight up Nicole Kidman in Moulin Rouge, dissolving into uncontrollable coughing fits at the drop of a hat. No, I have not been to the doctor or taken any medicine. Yeah, that’s dumb. BUT STILL. I am a healthy horse of a woman, cannot my immune system kick this thing? Fuck.
2- Because of my illness, my exhausting trip to Michigan (more on that later I hope) and the fact that my fucking IKEA dresser is broken and its impossible to get at my clothes, I look like a dowdy old lesbian today. Wide leg jeans, oxblood clogs (CLOGS! CLOGS PEOPLE!!!) and a gray sweater. And my hair is doing something weird. I look like I should be teaching a fucking graduate seminar in womyn’s studies at Smith. Try this in comparison to my coworker, who is decked out on a Tuesday morning like she is about to hit the cluuuurrrb. SKIN-TIGHT purple jeans, metallic stilettos, spangly black top and cropped jacket. I told her she looked cute and she replied, “yeah well [our CEO] is in today so I thought I would try to look nice”. I think looking nice for the CEO involves suit pants and blazers, not slutty clubwear. I love her, but this ensemble is so not biz-cas. Also, you are making me look dowdier when I stand next to you. Please step away.
Regressing, again.
“Doin’ Time” by Sublime just came on Pandora and literally grinned and said “YESSSS!” out loud. Eighth grade me is lovin’ it. I wish I could give it check plus plus! Hi everyone, my name is Katie and I still like old Sublime. I will no longer be ashamed of this.Nerd Alert!
How much of an enormous nerd am I that I just got really excited about clips of “Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives” on Hulu?? This show is like comfort food for my brain.These guys got nothing on Mystery.
Lines used on me on Friday night at Max Fish.
(please note I was wearing jeans, white tee, flats, almost no makeup and ponytail)
Guy #1 (out of nowhere, comes up behind me): You have a nice figure.
Me: Um, thanks? So do you?
Guy # 2 (I am sitting on a bench, waiting for the bathroom, looking at my blackberry): Hey, I saw you walk by, do you want to go to Union Pool and get some coke with us?
Me: Um? I’m here with friends.
Guy #2: Ok, think about it!
(I come out of the bathroom)
Guy #2: So are you coming with us?
Me: No! I’m with my friends!
Dude! Max Fish! What is up with all the crazy people??
Today is Alec Baldwin Day
I cannot get enough Alec Baldwin. He is the star of all my dirty thoughts. And I like my Baldwin old, fat and crazy.

Actually I wouldn’t kick young Baldwin out of my bed EITHER.

Look at that pelt! I want to wear it as a coat.
But my ULTIMATE WEAKNESS??
BALDWIN IN GLASSES!!!!!!!!!! SUH-WOON!

You’re welcome, Happy Birthday, Merry Christmas, blah, blah, drool.
Now I’m going to go scour the intertubes for that INSANE GQ profile of him from a couple years back.
Proof that younger sisters are wiser
- me: maybe i should get a tattoo of otters holding hands
- Maria: katie.
- let's think about what you just said for a moment
- me: I LOVE OTTERS